UK Politics

Reality Dave

The Tories are hoping that reality television can save them. No really. The party’s conference will borrow ideas from ‘The Dragons’ Den’ and ‘The X Factor’ to inject some… who knows.

According to a report in the Daily Telegraph, David Cameron has plundered ideas from ‘The Dragons’ Den’ and ‘The X Factor’ (hasn’t he already done that? I seem to remember he was going to pick his mayoral candidate in this fashion? Oh right, it didn’t quite work due to lack of interest) in an attmpt to spice up this year’s Conservative Party in sunny Bournemouth.

It’s funny what a decade out of power will do to a party. Sadly, the Tories don’t have a Sharon Osbourne, but they do have Ann Widdecombe… wait, is that a good thing?

Widdecombe will be transformed into a Tory “dragon”, so not much of a makeover then, as party activists take part in ‘X Factor’-style voting in some debates.

On BBC Two’s entrepreneurial ‘The Dragons’ Den’, of course, people with ideas to turn plastic ducks into cup holders try to win cash from the panel of business experts. With the Tories, four prospective candidates will take to the stage to sell a policy they want the Conservatives to adopt.

No news yet if the voting will lead to party policy, but it could be interesting. Strict new laws could be introduced on the hunting of paediatricians for instance.

I’d like to see the Dave borrow more from TV and maybe from my personal old school favourite ‘Play Your Cards Right’, it’s the one where the audience shout out “higher” or “lower”, this would be ideal for deciding Tory tax policy or spending on defence or the NHS. It would be a winner.

Reality TV shows are not the only thing Dave has turned borrower on. The party has also lined up Will Hutton to speak. Will, what are you doing? This is as bad as Bruno Gianelli switching from the Democrats to the Republicans… Oh wait, that happened in ‘The West Wing’ and not reality, but you can see how the whole thing starts to get confusing.

As talking of Republicans, US presidential hopeful Senator John McCain is also appearing, having taken Dave’s invitation to come on down.

Widdecombe will be joined by policy chief Oliver Letwin and Rachel Elnaugh, one of the entrepreneurs from the show.

Wait a second, wasn’t Elnaugh the one whose company Red Letter Days went down in flames? Failed and flopped and had to be rescued? So it was. What a bonus to get her input.

Update: Will they stop at nothing? Dave now plans to hug trees. The Tories are to ditch their torch for tree doodle in an image revamp.