Write songs like Anastacia

Check out Pootergeek’s do it yourself guide to writing your own Anastacia song.

1. Quiet acoustic guitar strumming…

2. Clumsy clichéd psychobabble intro lyric: “I am a shouty woman and you gone done me wrong / I’m all out of therapy and my shrink want points for his part in this song.”

3. Real string section, layered with a roomfull of expensive synthesizers

4. Anguished pre-chorus with Led Zep proportioned drums

5. Thumping verse build-up: “I’m a shouty woman on an empty street / A shouty woman you left incomplete / A shouty woman all drained of tears / But I’m a shouty woman and I’ll SHOUT DOWN MY FEARS.

Where will it all end ? See for yourselves.

He’s wasted on whatever it is they make him do in Cambridge.