Let’s Meet the Team

Craig Brown does sterling work in reminding us that the Tories have no end of interesting characters on their front bench:

Michael Ancram once drove in a “bumper car” at Taunton World of Amusements. “It was about seven or eight years ago,” he explains. “I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy the ride – but it was certainly rather bumpy!” His hobbies include playing the folk guitar “but not too loud”. Last year, he mastered Streets of London by Ralph McTell. “Though I always like to remind my audiences that London has greatly improved since Mr McTell wrote the song. And let me make this absolutely clear: I fully support London’s Olympic bid.”

If you want to know anything about Tuscany, management consultant Caroline Spelman is the person to turn to. “We’ve been going there for our summer holidays for eight years now, on and off,” she explains. “So we know it pretty well. It’s in Italy.” Caroline also enjoys music “though nothing too loud”.

Michael Howard owns three different pairs of spectacles. “I have long considered that four would be rather too many,” he told Sue Lawley when he appeared on Desert Island Discs this year, “whilst on the other hand two would be rather too few. In my opinion, three is just about right, Sue.”

Er…that’s enough Tories for now.