Bad things,

I’ll be against them.

If you’ll be my friend, I’ll give you

my sympathy for the Palestinians.

If you take down your pants, you’ll get

my don’t get me started

on George W. Bush.

Into my mouth you can drop

any slogan you want –

weekly on the letters page

I’ll give you hate mail

you can only agree with –

if you’ll sign up

to know nothing about

the games I play with children

in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

Let me in,

Alliance Against Everything, and together

we’ll make of the world a girl

come to terms with the iambic beat

of my tobacco flavoured fist.


This poem first appeared in Frightening New Furniture (Salmon Poetry, April 2010)