By Dave Dudley, Leninist Vanguard (personal capacity)
Comradely apologies, I have been rather silent at Harry’s Place of late. With the implosion of both Respect and the Trade Union and Socialist Coalition at the ballot box recently, it became rapidly apparent that every authentic and actual revolutionary must commit themselves to one goal: to get John McDonnell on the ballot paper for the Labour Leadership. With this central task before us, Leninist Vanguard immediately applied for affiliation to the Labour Representation Committee (if they’ll let the North Korea-loving New Communist Party in, then why not us?) and granted me leave of absence from cadre-building and paperselling in order to divert resources to the McDonnell leadership campaign, where I was welcomed with open arms as the nightly task of persuading Labour MPs to lend him their name began. As savage and brutal Tory-Lib Dem cuts hoved into view (Jenny Tonge should get out while she can!), sadly it was not to be, with the Murdoch Empire and its Zionist paymasters, bullish after their bombardment of British leftists engaged in the heroic Gaza Flotilla, acting true to form and throwing everything it had towards denying McDonnell his rightful place before the party membership (I should stress I am not actually a Labour member, I mean, what do you take me for?)
Therefore I offer up the Dave Dudley guide to the Labour Leadership race:
David Miliband – son of a Jewish emigre revisionist, what more do you need to know? Next! (actually, some kudos for having the middle name Wright, after C. Wright Mills).
Ed Miliband – likewise, but a cross between Swampy and Neil Kinnock, if you believe his hype.
Andy Burnham – chipper northerner and traitor to the working class, made the transition from government teat during the Blair years to fully paid-up neoliberal axeman of the health service (though we shouldn’t actually confuse the amelioration of capitalist excess through the welfare state with socialist goals, only as anti-cuts campaigning tactics).
Ed Balls – typical Croslandite right-winger, beloved of trade union bureaucrats. Doesn’t even have a Trotskyist past to be ashamed of but was a Tory at uni instead.
Diane Abbott – solid media performer, constant thorn in the side of Kinnock, Smith, Blair and Brown, black single mother, anchor of the Hackney left, what’s not to like? The victim of numerous New Labour smears against the private education of her son (it’s not unsocialist to attend private school, only to oppose their abolition), an Abbott Labour leadership is now the only game in town for the revolutionary left.
Down with New Labour revisionism!
Diane Abbott for Labour Leader!
Smash Zionism!