Does anyone know if it is possible to overdose on schadenfreude?
In a nutshell, Guido Fawkes – the two-bit political blogger who likes to refer to himself in the third-person…yeah, I know – was invited onto Newsnight where, following a short film in which he made the case that MSM journos are too close to their sources and therefore pull their punches instead of going for the political jugular (unlike brave, unaccountable bloggers), he took part in a discussion with Michael White, assistant editor at the Guardian and, consequently, the embodiment of the establishment lackey, in thrall to our political masters.
Well, you could watch a 4 hour documentary on stock car racing and it still wouldn’t come close to this for car crash TV. If I were to say I almost felt sorry for poor old Guido, it would give you some indication of just how badly he fared. It would also be a lie, of course. I enjoyed every excruciating last nano-second, each of the 5 times I’ve watched it. This was the worst live TV performance the country has witnessed since…since the program that was on before it.
I won’t spoil it all, but if I tell you Guido insists on appearing as a silhouette (think reformed sex pest discussing past misdeeds), that the slot has its very own “Don’t tell him your name, Pike!” moment courtesy of White, and finished with Guido incorrectly fingering the BBC’s very own Nick Robinson as one of his sources* for a non-story (which thrilled Robinson, obviously), you still wouldn’t be close to understanding how utterly devastating it all is for poor old third-person singular himself (he’s since apologised to Robinson). You may have seen Olivier playing Hamlet; you may recall Fleetwood and Fox doing The Brits; and you might even have watched all 6 series of My Family; but you haven’t witnessed genuine tragedy until you’ve seen this.
More than a little ironically, Guido first announced the possibility of a Newsnight appearance with a blog post several days ago that began:
“Guido occasionally gets calls from producers asking him to go on TV…”
As I’m sure the poor old Guido already knows, a week is a long time in politics.
*It’s enlightening that Guido thinks his big mistake was misidentifying the source, and not the act of identification itself.
P.S. If any producers are reading this, I’m available for Question Time at short notice. I’m not saying I’d do better than DavidT, Wardy, Gene, Ven, Graham, Marcus, Brett, Dan or Harry, but they all have faces for radio and everyone knows that presentation is everything these days.