What The Judge Should Have Told Pensioner Convicted of Again Invading Airbase Runway

Guest poem by Kevin Higgins

The following poem is in no way related to this breaking story.

You are free to go, and furthermore
       I am issuing an order
that henceforth and in perpetuity all
       your demands be acceded to:

the United States will forthwith
       be dissolved, its territory put under
the temporary protection of friendly
       Bolivian and Vietnamese forces;

the UN General Assembly will place
       that slice of Mesopotamia
better known as modern day
       Iraq in the hands of those few

members of its legitimate government
       circa 2003 not cut to small pieces
in airstrikes or carried illegally
       by the crowd to the gallows.

Said legitimate government of Iraq, restored,
       will reciprocate with occasional thank you
suitcases of cash to assist Woodquay
       Women For Peaceful Disobedience–

Corin Redgrave Memorial branch.

The entity generally referred to as
       ‘Israel’ will be shared out amongst
its neighbours, its citizens shipped
       back to their places of origin:
Cracow, Slovakia, Brooklyn…

       Sky News will be replaced by
hourly bulletins of you saying ‘world peace’
       into a modest microphone.

For my part, I’d ask
       for a membership form.
Once these proceedings are adjourned, I’ll be
       joining you faster than a balaclava
exiting Allied Irish Bank after
       a political fundraiser
in which a wages clerk was shot.

       You do not
have leave to appeal.

Kevin Higgins is co-organiser of Over The Edge literary events in Galway City. He has published four collections of poems: Kevin’s most recent collection of poetry, The Ghost In The Lobby, was launched at this year’s Cúirt Festival by Mick Wallace TD. His poems also feature in the anthologies Identity Parade – New British and Irish Poets (Bloodaxe, 2010) and in The Hundred Years’ War: modern war poems (Ed Neil Astley, Bloodaxe May 2014). His poetry was recently the subject of a paper titled ‘The Case of Kevin Higgins: Or The Present State of Irish Poetic Satire’ given by David Wheatley at a symposium on satire at the University of Aberdeen; David Wheatley’s paper can be read in full here. Mentioning The War, a collection of his essays and reviews, was published by Salmon in April, 2012. Kevin’s blog is here.

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