Swimming Against the Tide

People in England, Wales and Northern Ireland should not be given a formal say on whether an independent Scotland joins a currency union with the UK, according to Alex Salmond.

The first minister said a referendum in the rest of the UK would “not be required” following a “Yes” vote.

Yes, and I should like a date with Scarlett Johansson.

Scotland, wha’ like us? None, thank fuck.