Come and Stay in the Guardian Hotel!

A friend has just received the following request for his views on an exciting new venture for The Guardian:

The Guardian is thinking of developing a new hotel concept. An atmospheric place to unwind, broaden your mind and meet others. This would be much more than simply a place to stay and would offer an inspiring break for our guests. The hotel would offer a diverse programme of activities and events including workshops, debates and classes featuring guest speakers, writers, artists, chefs and political commentators.

“Or it could simply be a place to relax with others. A stay at the hotel would be a social experience with plenty of communal space. We are in the very early stages of forming this plan and your feedback will be valuable in helping us to shape it.

“Based on this brief description, how appealing does this hotel sound to you?

Ah yes. The Guardian Hotel. Where you can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave.

Here is an artist’s impression of The Guardian Hotel:

So, the bright new future of The Guardian is becoming clearer. Not content with its plans to close down the print edition, and to replace its journalists with non-unionised casual labour, the future vision now appears to include a version of Soho House, with more bores.

How long, O Lord?