Bumbling Bungles Bungles Again

This is a guest post by Abu Faris

Inayat Bunglawala has a website hilariously entitled Inayat’s Corner. I thought I would test the limits of my sanity and pay it a visit.

Inevitably on this showcase for the razor-sharp investigative talents of the Mr. Bean of British Islamism are a variety of shocking exposes of (in no particular order): the shockingly virulent anti-Muslim bias of seemingly nearly everything; the callous no-holds-barred disregard of “neo-cons” for the lives of ordinary, hard-working jihadi; and – of course – the dastardly scheming of the Zionist fiends with their shock battalions of trained Octopuses of Occupation and Oppression.

Reality hardly gets a look in, of course – still less anyone wishing to post a comment reminding Bungles of the awful truth of things (and kudos here to The Count of Monte Cristo in a Bubble Car of this parish, who appears to be able to negotiate the hair-trigger censorship of Bungles to actually get posts up on Inayat’s Corner).

Indeed, Inayat makes a speciality in inept wrongness, specious half-truths at best and an extraordinary line in shooting himself straight between the eyes either in the inane OPs he lavishes upon the tiny audience of devotees who are actually reading his bilge, or even better in wild accusations, lashings of whataboutery and veritable orgies of frenzied back-tracking with which he litters his comments. For it is Inayat who mostly comments on his own pieces – cruelly unaware of what is popularly diagnosed by such inveterate chattering to oneself.

This week Inayat has mostly been wearing a face of self-righteous indignation about Muslim ladies daring to publicly mourn dead British soldiers, striking a mournful note for the passing of an inveterately anti-Semitic Lebanese clerical fascist and gleefully announcing a story concerning Iranian planes and aviation fuelling rights in the UK. Let’s look through the weird window in more detail at these fevered hallucinations of Inayat.

In A look at the ‘Muslim women lays wreaths’ story, Bungles clearly approvingly links to Richard “Axis of Useful Idiocy” Seymour’s recent vomit about this story over on the appalling Lenin’s Tomb. Avid readers of this mighty on-line organ will recall HP’s take on Seymour’s toxic waste as commentary on this story. May of you got positively medieval on Seymour – and quite rightly so. Not Bungles – oh no, Bungles thinks Seymour’s point of view is “interesting” (code for: Mr Bungles says “yes!”). He suggests (all innocent, like):

Of course, this recent focus on Armed Forces Day (instituted for the first time last year when its name was changed from Veteran’s Day) and now the Muslim wreath laying could have nothing whatsoever to do with the widespread and growing public opposition to the pointless war in Afghanistan which has seen over 300 UK soldiers killed and an undisclosed number seriously wounded.

Thus implying that the Muslim women were but propaganda tools of the evil imperialists seeking to divert attention from their evil war against the freedom-loving Taliban and assorted Iraqi jihadi by means of the panem et circenses of… erm… a memorial service for the war dead of the British armed forces. Yes, Bungles, that should take our mind off the war nicely – a memorial service for the war dead. How clever of Bungles to have rumbled this!

However, Bungles is a crafty bird and the moment The Count of Monte Cristo in a Bubble Car lays into him for his appalling views, Bungles immediately starts flying backwards. What was a sinister propaganda ploy by dark imperialist forces is transformed into a “well meaning gesture”… but it’s still a sinister propaganda ploy nonetheless. Well, thanks for clearing that one up for your audience of about twelve, Mr Bungles.

If that was not despicably loopy enough for one’s stomach (or one is oddly entertained by the contortions of Bungles in full flow) how about this divertingly surreal skit: Bungles on the British no-refuelling of Iranian planes that never was?

Sometimes one wonders whether the tea that Bungles consumes has not been laced with some sort of very powerful dose of psilocybin mushrooms – and this story is a case in point.

Bungles chortles to himself: UK refuses fuel to Israeli planes – Yes, it’s a ‘jokey’ story about the UK’s supposed refusal to refuel Iranian aircraft (gerrit?!?!?!) This sanction supposedly enacted as a measure of the UK’s (entirely unreasonable) disapproval of Iran’s (perfectly legitimate) right to build nuclear weapons and drop them on Jews. Inayat is clearly overjoyed at the opportunity for some mega-whataboutery on this; and one can almost hear the popping of the non-alcoholic guava champagne corks and hearty takbirs from out Chez Bungles.

Unfortunately for Bungles the story is, as it is technically known, complete and utter bollocks – what is more, Bungles later admits it… but continues to run the story nonetheless.

Bungles lays into the issue with the frenetic gusto of a stoat on speed:

The UK government has actually initiated a policy of refusing to allow Iranian passenger planes to refuel at UK airports. The new measure is meant to convey official UK government displeasure at the refusal of the Iranian government to succumb to UN demands regarding its nuclear programme.

Israel, of course, meanwhile faces no such sanctions. That’s justice for you.

No that’s your imagination working overtime, Inayat – because, as Inayat later readily concedes, the UK has done no such thing. However, as Inayat grumpily notes, if had had been so, then as Stephen Pollard lampoons Bungles over on the JC – then yes, that would be justice.

Poor old Bungles can never seem to get things right. People laugh at him and not his jokes.

However, failing to wait to see what the UK government had to say before rushing to pen his gleeful skit with all its embarrassing consequences does not deter our hero in the slightest. For in the comments to this piece, Bungles pleasures himself manfully with a gushing of whataboutery that would put… well… Seymour to shame. Illegal settlements, flying whizz-bang rockets and the evil IDF all get a look in. Don’t mention Iranian jets freely guzzling fuel at Heathrow, thunk a frantically obfuscating Inayat, the sweat pouring from his feverish brow.

Last but not least, let’s turn our attention to Bungles coming over all serious and melancholy… for the spiritual leader of Hezbollah, no less. Bungles adopts a funereal tone – One can imagine Qutb the cat has clearly been put out for the duration and Hassan al-Banna, the Bungles’ family budgie, has his cage bedecked in a mourning quilted coverlet that looks for all the world like the big tapestry Bungles saw on the Kaba’a when last on Hajj.

The rest of humanity knew Grand Ayatollah Fadlallah of Lebanon’s Shi’a community as a virulent anti-Semite and the spiritual guide of Hezbollah, that rather well-known, violently disposed terrorist organisation. Not Bungles. Oh, deary me no. Fadlallah was a good man who saved small, fluffy kittens from being drowned in buckets and such like.

Indeed, Bungles would rather not call him a Grand Ayatollah at all (that would offend Bungles’ deeply held Sunni sectarian sensibilities). Fadlallah gets to be called by Bungles simply a Sheikh – which is about as condescending as calling the Pope a parish priest and neglecting to mention his other powers and roles. At the same time, Inayat wants to point out the great community work the evil old clerical fascist Holocaust denier Fadlallah engaged in – the drawing together Sunni and Shi’a from across the sectarian divide. What Inayat carefully avoids is mention of the sort of Sunni and Shi’a Fadlallah so carefully sought to unite were the kinds that infest Hamas and Hezbollah.

However, when the ever-indefatigable Count raises these uncomfortable and unspoken truths about the vicious jihad cheerleader, Fadlallah, Inayat fulminates a series of surreally self-defeating ripostes:

I can understand why the Israelis and their supporters would be happy about the death of Shaykh Fadlallah but as you will no doubt have seen from the footage from Lebanon, he was very much loved and admired by huge numbers of people in Lebanon. Why do you think that was?

Because Hezbollah agreed with their spiritual leader, Inayat? The “footage from Lebanon” being broadcast by Manar TV, a satellite channel owned by *cough* Hezbollah? The “huge number of people” there upon being shown largely supporters of Hezbollah attending their spiritual leader’s funeral? Why do we think they supported him? Have a guess, Inayat.

Inayat, cornered, resorts to a variation of Godwin’s Dictum in order to commit (nearly) public debating suicide. He huffs:

The Israelis and their supporters regularly compare their opponents to Hitler in an attempt to cover up their own record of brutality and racism towards the Palestinians.

Well they don’t, of course. Of course it might also be mentioned that we don’t explicitly support Hitler’s policies… unlike Inayat’s latest hero, the late, unmissed, Grand Ayatollah Fadlallah of Lebanon and his unhinged, lethal, loyal followers in Hezbollah.

Great stuff, Inayat. Dissing good Muslim women, spreading rubbish non-stories about UK sanctions on Iran and excusing a vile, terrorist anti-Semite – and all in the space of a week. Isn’t Islamism powerful in the hands of a wordsmith of Bungles’ undoubted calibre?