This is a cross post by Edmund Standing
For much of 2009, we have been honoured to have regular contributions in the Harry’s Place comments section from BNP Legal Director comedian Lee John Barnes. So, for all his numerous fans, I bring you the best of Lee Barnes, 2009:
January:
LJB brings us his first poetic masterpiece of the year, in which he writes of ‘the resistance’ and their struggle against the ‘Zionist entity’. An anonymous commenter, sadly lacking the depth of understanding necessary to appreciate the genius of LJB, states: ‘I’m surprsied [sic] and saddened to read this poem Lee’. For shame!
LJB confirms that he does indeed visit the neo-Nazi Stormfront forum.
‘NASA shits bricks over Gary McKinnon Case’, writes LJB, returning to a favourite topic of his: the truth about the UFO cover-up!
February:
LJB explains the significance of the Wicker Man and how ‘its image is firmly rooted in the collective unconscious of our folk’:
The Wicker Man is the growing fury of the people of Britain, it is that spirit of revolution which rests for centuries in the blood of our people before once again erupting into being with all the power and might of an exploding volcano.
LJB predicts that ‘the entire race relations industry’ will be thrown into ‘cleaning fires’ and reminds us that ‘[t]he ancient Kelts knew that in times of crisis that sacrifices must be made’.
LJB exposes the truth about Hitler and Nazism: ‘Nazism Was Jewish – Hitler Stole Jewish National Socialism’. As ever, LJB asks the questions that few dare to ask:
I wonder why it is that none of the millions of documentaries and books we have read on the Nazis have ever stated anywhere that Nazism was based on the ideas of a Jewish Zionist Nationalist ?
By ‘we’, I presume LJB means the BNP.
LJB offers another poem, this time dedicated to ‘Melanie Phillips, the lefty idiots, liberal fools and the scum on Lancaster Unity’:
I am the Monster, said the Monster,
I project upon others,
What I hate within myself,
I hate the world,
I hate beauty and goodness,
I hate sunlight and life,
For I am a cage of dead things,
A husk of bones and dust.
LJB asks another vitally important question: Is Obama Gay?
LJB has a theory…
Any male over the age of 40 who has no natural growth of chest hair is gay.
Any male over the age of 40 who shaves their chest is also gay.
I know this is just a theory with no actual scientific evidence to back it up, but according to this theory as President Obama is over 40 and has a hairless chest = he is gay or at some time in his past he has been a proper gayer.
Who needs science when you’ve got bigotry?
March:
LJB warns of impending doom, with ‘two stories that reveal where the US is going – into martial law and FEMA concentration camps by 2011’.
LJB provides an email address for fan mail. No doubt lots is forthcoming.
LJB explains Druidism and how it relates to ‘higher evolution’. We learn:
Druidism is not simply going to Stonehenge on a solstice and performing a ritual nor acting like a hippie caricature.
A druid may be a warrior who fights for his homeland, who fights to defend the environment and who fights to defend his people and culture.
Druidism is the union of mind, soul, spirit and deed in pursuit of the liberation of the self and the world.
LJB promotes the work of John Mearsheimer, who has apparently exposed the fact that ‘International Zionists Run US – want WW3’.
LJB turns on his TV. Big mistake.
I can no longer stand any of these shit TV shows.
I despise the actors, the script writers and the dumb idiots that watch this trivial shite.
No wonder the British people who watch this shit are so thick, they absorb this PC bollocks into their tiny brains in a continuous drip, drip drip of PC propaganda.
What a load of total shit.
April:
LJB explains what’s really behind the credit crunch: ‘If anyone out there doesnt [sic] yet understand that the so called ‘ Credit Crunch’ was deliberately created so as to create the New World Order then you are an idiot’. So there!
LJB brings us great theological wisdom. Sadly most people are too stupid to comprehend the profundities that emanate from the soul of LJB:
Jehovah created the world and the Garden of Eden under the command of Barbelo / Sophia in order to create a place where Adam could incarnate and bring with him the seeds of the trees of Life and Knowledge from the Fourth Aeon in order to save Sophia from entropy and death.
But Jehovah then rebelled against Sophia and God and then proclaimed himself sole God of the universe and it is this act of rebellion that is the cause of the evil in the world. The only sin of Man is worshipping the sinner Jehovah and the religions that derive from his delusions and illusions.
LJB sets out the arguments for troop withdrawal from Afghanistan:
Fuck Afghanistan.
A single drop of a British soldiers blood is worth more than the entire country.
We should never have been there and we should never get involved in foreign wars again.
The only borders our troops should defend are British borders and the British people – fuck the rest of the world.
LJB is not happy with David T and the CST:
The only real anti-semites in the world today are the Zionists in the IDF.
Therefore the anti-semites of British Zionism require their well paid attack maggots like Toube to once in a while go on a frothy slime attack on anyone their Zionist anti-semite paymasters tell them to attack.
In todays Orwellian world where war is peace ( Iraq and Afghanistan ) then we should not be too surprised that maggots like Toube try and wrap their anti-semitism in an Israeli / Zionist flag and call it ‘self defence’.
The CST are the equivalent of Combat 18, just better paid and protected by the state.
I see the CST as an equivalent threat as Al Qaeda in the UK – just that whilst Al Qaeda hide, the CST sups with lords, coppers and the rest of the corrupt Establishment lickspittles.
The militia’s of foreign powers or insane religious cults should not be allowed to organise in our own country.
Therefore the CST should join Al Qaeda on the list of proscribed organisations in the UK – and its spokesman David Toube regarded with as much loathing as those hook handed nutters spoUting Al Qaeda rubbish in the media.
As an associate of David, I can confirm that everything LJB writes here is absolutely true. I fully expect that, as a result of me saying this, I will receive a ‘frothy slime attack’ and quite possibly lose my job at Mossad.
May:
LJB fans the world over are thrilled by a new poem, which includes the following brilliant lines:
Fuck your liberty,
It is just a lie,
For the eternal conflict,
Between equality,
And the ideal of liberty,
Reveals the truth,
Your liberty is the same,
Old whore in a new dress,
Whose cunt is still wet,
From serving the pigs
That ran the old regime.
Some philistine wimp in the comments section complains about the strong language. This is the poetry of LJB – what the hell does he expect? ‘The swear words in the poem are designed to produce a “bourgeoise” reflex in the reader’, explains the ever patient LJB.
LJB brings us ‘an [sic] Gnostic interpretation of 666’:
The symbolism of 666 relates to the 7 inner seals of the 7 Chakras.
6 is the number of Chakras that each individual follower of each of the religions of the book, and the coming Religion of the Book, will only ever be able to achieve.
Therefore it is a number that is not complete.
Only 6 Chakras are opened in the followers of the Religion of the Book and therefore full spiritual vision does not occur.
Man is unable to access God within himself.
Therefore the ‘spiritual vision’ of those that follow those religions, and the coming Religion of the Book, is flawed and leaves man still enslaved to Yaldaboath in each of his present guises.
The new Religion of the Book, the religion of the anti-christ, is designed to ensure it only allows people to open just 6 chakras and not the essential 7 th Chakra.
666 is a symbol of delusion and not spiritual liberty.
Let those that have wisdom understand.
‘I hate pompous twats who know nothing about history’, writes LJB. Apparently, this is not meant as an ironic statement.
June:
LJB is sick of Daniel Hannan, ‘the man with a penis for a head’:
I hate Daniel Hannan.
He is one of the smug, oleaginous, slap head twerps you had to sit next to at university.
You know the type, all ‘Yes sir I know the answer sir, sir would you like an apple sir, sir would you like me to lick your arse sir’ types with their hand always up in the air ready to answer the next bloody question before its even been asked.
Bloody little creep.
LJB has a great idea:
I reckon we should go for an Afro Wig like Shaft or one of those bad boy black pimps from the 1970’s cop shows.
Then Hannan can stride into the EU parliament with his new bad ass wig on and not look like a talking knob for a change.
Someone might actually take the dickhead seriously then.
If you have any suggestions about what wig we should get Daniel then let me know.
If anyone has any photoshop skills, and can be arsed, then do a picture of Daniel in an afro wig and I will post it on this blog.
E mail me at leejohnbarnes@googlemail.com
One of LJB’s dedicated followers is happy to oblige and LJB is naturally thrilled:
He no longer looks like a man with a knob for a head.
He looks like a real Bad Ass !
Hannan shouts out to the assembled pederasts, pigs and crooks, ‘ Yo youze honky bitches ! I is da man and now dis chamber is gonna get some groovy funkiness ‘.
Hooray the MEPs cry for Hannan is here.
The chamber erupts into a frenzy. A new era begins in the EU.
THE EU GETS FUNKTASTIK !
Yep, thats what the power of the wig will do for Hannan.
From a giant cock to a bad ass pimp in one short wig out.
I ought to do this sort of makeover as a job.
I can make you look like a Bad Ass too !
Alas, the fun and games can’t last forever in the world of LJB, and he provides us with shocking information on ‘Stalin’s Jewish Lackeys’.
July:
LJB is unimpressed by police warnings about a far-right terror threat and lets us all know what’s really going on:
This is the start of a major False Flag operation by sections of the covert UK Shadow Government and forces from the Military-Industrial Block designed to destabilise the UK and al;low [sic] them to use the various emergency acts they have passed in order to pacify the population – ahead possibly of a total collapse of the economic system leading to mass civil unrest.
‘This crap is embrassing’, writes LJB. Very true.
LJB reviews my Centre for Social Cohesion report on the BNP’s online presence and supporters. I am honoured to see LJB offering a link so that his readers can download the report, which he deems ‘fun to read’. It’s not all good news, sadly:
The writer of this report Edmund Standing, a guy named after a metaphor for an erect penis, who is also one of Harrys Place regulars – and it appears that people like the Social for Social Cohesion are prepared to pay for any old bollocks as long as it attacks the BNP.
[…]
[W]e can safely assume that Edmund is a Zionist, Jewish and also a Neo-Conservative stooge and also an apologist for the illegal Iraq War started by the international corporate fascist elite who serve the interest of the Banksters and the Zionists.
Therefore he is simply being paid to peddle bullshit that benefits himself and his Zionist, neo-con, Israeli buddies.
August:
LJB admires Comrade Chavez’s approach to the media: ‘Credit where credit is due, Chavez is bang on target here … Chavez’s example is a good model to follow’. And it’s not just Chavez, either: ‘Noam Chomsky is bang on the money when he defines the nature of the US and UK media’.
LJB exposes ‘the strategy of Little Green Footballs and Harrys [sic] Place’:
Both Harrys Place, a site where the Jewish Zionist Edmund Standing writes, usually carries pieces on the BNP that are then copied onto the Little Green Footballs site: Revealing that both Harrys Place and Little Green Footballs real concern is empowering Zionism, not Islam.
Both HP AND LGF are Zionist controlled operations – whilst Little Green Footballs is a site for the swivel eyed, foaming at the mouth pro-Zionists and anti-Islam nutters, HP is a centre left site where the Zionism comes disguised with a moderate package.
The product is the same, just with a slightly different flavour to ensure the masses all get the flavour they like.
Sounds tasty.
Bob Pitt is no doubt shocked to discover the following: ‘Little Green Footballs and Harrys Place spend more time attacking the BNP than they do offering any constructive critique of Islam or Islamism’.
The most shocking revelation of all is that LGF and HP are responsible for 9/11:
The traitors like Bush and the 911 Cabalists were only able to complete their plans with the help of websites like LGF and HP.
They are accomplices to the crimes of their masters.
This exposure naturally resulted in much nervous sweating amongst the Elders. Thankfully, we emerged victorious and the plan for global Zionist domination remains on course.
LJB turns his creative talents to film and offers the following hilarious idea for ‘Charlie Brooker – The Movie’:
Charlie Brooker is Sooty in ‘ Sooty and Sweep – the drug years’.
Charlie plays sooty – a once famous hand puppet now down on his luck.
Once a high living hand puppet who dated a plethora of TV stars such as Floella Benjamin and the Blue Peter dog, he is dropped by the BBC and becomes unemployed.
Sweep, also sacked, starts dealing crack in Brixton and he and sooty enter a nightmarish world of TV puppets and drug addiction where the Clangers high on smack are involved in a turf battle with the coke dealing Smurfs whilst the top gangster, a gangster known as Bagpuss, stalks the sreets slaying all opposition.
Charlie become a crack addict and one night he sees Bagpuss shoot dead four smurfs in an execution known as ‘ The Night The Streets Ran Blue With Blood’.
Bagpuss and his firm, led by a dark horse called Muffin The Mule a hitman for the Bagpuss gang, are hunting Charlie down.
Charlie has to fight his addiction to crack at the same time as he is struggling to survive the evil army of unemployed hand puppets on his trail.
The film culminates in a Tarantino style shoot out in cheap hotel in Brighton.
Charlie survives but his hand puppet protagonists dont.
In slow motion we see Charlie mowing down the army of evil hand puppets with an Uzi machine gun that he buys from a 14 year old school kid from Peckham.
These are the films we want to see, not more crap moves that are not about Charlie Brooker.
I for one would love to see that film. Genius.
September:
LJB proves that the BNP does not have a ‘whites only’ membership policy:
Heres [sic] what the BNP constitution actually says ;
[…]
The indigenous British ethnic groups deriving from the class of ‘Indigenous Caucasian’ consists of members of: i) the Anglo-Saxon folk community; ii) the Celtic Scottish folk community; iii) the Scots-Northern Irish folk community; iv) the Celtic Welsh folk community; v) the Celtic Irish folk community; vi) the Celtic Cornish folk community; vii) the Anglo-Saxon-Celtic folk community; viii) the Celtic-Norse folk community; ix) the Anglo-Saxon-Norse folk community; x) the Anglo-Saxon Indigenous European folk community; xi) members of these ethnic groups which reside either within or outside Europe but ethnically derive from them.
See what I mean – can you see where it says we have a ‘whites only’ membership !
What we have is an INDIGENOUS FOLK COMMUNITY membership which is not the same as a ‘whites only’ membership.
So there.
LJB is unimpressed by my work for the CSC exposing the UK ‘Blood & Honour’ neo-Nazi movement:
Old Edmund Standing, the Jewish Supremacist Zionist hypocrite, who is employed as ‘chief sock puppet’ at the Zionist Centre for Social Confusion (sorry, cohesion) is up to his usual tricks.
‘[A]t least your [sic] making a few pieces of silver out of it’, writes LJB. Sadly, I wasn’t actually paid anything.
LJB offers commentary on a billionaire who is backing the Conservative Party:
Looks like the old whore Cameron will be dropping his britches, poking his arse into the air, smearing vaseline on his ring bit and then smiling whilst he takes it up the Gary Glitter for Israel.
LJB announces that he is a ‘gay icon’ and ‘the BNP secret weapon to win the Gay Vote’:
I have decided to exploit this potential to reach out to a new voting demographic, this being the Gay Vote.
Formerly it used to be Mark Collett who got all the BNP Gay vote and attention, due to his appearance in a documentary where he was filmed with his T-shirt off and lifting weights.
I dont have to try that hard though for the Gay Vote, I just seem to be a Gayer Magnet.
Sorry Mark, but it appears I dont have to pose semi-naked, lift weights and get all hot and sweaty before the British gay population rank me as a BNP Sex Pot.
I wear my sparkly Gay Icon crown with pride, but just remember lads – you can look but you cant touch.
This guy is strictly hetero.
Gay men the world over are devastated.
October:
LJB asks: ‘EDMUND, EDMUND – ARE YOU THERE ?’
Of course I am!
LJB tells us the truth about the KKK – they’re really a charity for disabled and disadvantaged people:
In many ways the work that David Duke did with the KKK was commendable.
He transformed it from a sectarian anti-Catholic, Anti-Irish and violent group to a white nationalist group which now employs carers of disabled white people to produce its robes and ceremonial items, thereby keeping some of the most disadvantaged people in the US white working class above the poverty line.
Why does Nick Griffin comes across as such a buffoon? LJB has the answer: ‘The primary problem is that the people Nick has to debate with are ignorant’. If only more people would read LJB’s blog, this problem would be greatly reduced.
LJB inadvertently reveals that the BNP’s members are largely moronic and inept. A change of leadership is an absurd idea, states, LJB, for ‘the ONLY person in the BNP who can do the job is Nick Griffin’.
November:
LJB writes of Melanie Phillips and her ‘foam flecked lips’. You can read more on this at the ‘We Love Lee Barnes’ blog.
LJB is very excited about France’s ‘Anti-Zionist Party’. He even approvingly posts a photo of the not very Aryan Dieudonné, a French ‘comedian’ and Anti-Zionist Party leader. In October, the JC reported:
On Tuesday, French judges ordered Dieudonné to pay 20,000 for antisemitic insults after he invited convicted Holocaust-denier Robert Faurisson on stage.
During a Paris comedy show in December last year, Dieudonné’s assistant dressed in a concentration camp outfit and yellow Star of David and gave Faurisson a “satirical award” in what Dieudonné described as a “comedy bomb attack”.
‘Hi Edmund and David T’, writes LJB.
Hi Lee!
LJB sticks it to the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO), or ‘bastards’ as he calls them:
Damn it, just as I thought the next Tory government would have zero benefits for this nation, along comes one of the squealing ACPO pigs and reveals that they will resign if elected police chiefs are brought in under a tory government.
ACPO are the mafia of the New Labour corporate fascist state – a cabal of careerists and politically correct placemen and women who serve the interests of the political traitors that run our country, the para-military wing of political correctness, the uniformed militia of the EU – the Common Purpose trained agents of the European super state – the guardians of the conspiracy, the agents of the traitors that plan our nations downfall and destruction.
If they resign then that would be a good thing.
They are at the heart of the conspiracy for they serve and defend the inner traitors.
December:
‘I am a revolting peasant’, says LJB. Fair enough.
LJB is disgusted by the ‘Zionist Jew Milliband’, who he considers a ‘vile little shit’ and ‘slimy political turd’. ‘I despise David Milliband’, writes LJB. But why? Because, apparently, David Milliband has the following plan:
I continue the work of my grandfather to build a Zionist Marxist Global Empire where the elite can rule the masses and use them as our cattle – and if they resist we will rebuild the Gulags and exterminate them all.
LJB has the solution:
If we had more Max Mosleys and Berlusconi’s [sic] running things, and less laydboy [sic] pussys [sic] like David Milliband and his idiot placenta brother, Britain may become great again.
Finally, LJB brings truly appalling news: ‘Zionist Murdoch Media Trying To Start WW4’.
I didn’t even know we’d had a third world war yet!
What a year it’s been. There’s one thing we all know we can count on as we enter the new year – Lee John Barnes will be there, always ready to inform and entertain with his unique insights and unparalleled prose. We – and the BNP – are not worthy.