This is a guest post by McTumshie
Yesterday I placed a satirical piece on Al-Guardian blaming western colonialism for the attacks in Lahore, which the politbureau at Al-Guardian has deleted. It said:
“It’s all the fault of American-Zionist-Imperialist-Colonialists.”
As Hassan al Bana said:
“Europeans had immersed the world in materialism and corruption to overwhelm the Muslim lands. They were able to alter the basic principles of government, justice, and education, and infuse in the most powerful Islamic countries, their own peculiar political, judicial, and cultural systems. They imported their semi-naked women into these regions, together with their liquors, their theatres, their dance halls, their amusement arcades, their stories, their newspapers, their novels, their whims, their silly games, and their vices. This was not enough for them, so they built schools and scientific cultural institutes, casting doubt and heresy within the hearts of people.”
Little did I know at the time of a discussion board at MPAC UK.
The editorial leader says:
“Many Pakistanis you speak to say that Pakistan is suffering because of America’s neo-conservative inspired war in Afghanistan. The extreme foreign policy is leading to a backlash where many Muslims are now taking up extreme measures themselves, the latest of which is the attack against the Sri Lankan team playing in Pakistan. It was a message to Pakistan’s Government who has backed American policy, without which it would be a bankrupt failed state – that doing so would cost them dearly. Is it time American Muslims got political and push for a change in policy, which would bring stability to the region instead of war and the inevitable reaction to it?”
A sensible reply from Maltibab said:
“Are you in some way trying to justify this cowardly attack against (a) fellow muslims and (b) unarmed non-combatant sportsmen? Are you suggesting that Pakistan should be given to the extremists?”
to which another commentator, Jaleel replied:
“Shut up you Zionist. The real extremists are your Zionist lobby that got us into this mess in the first place.”
The debate continued, with a fair number of the MPAC correspondents concluding that the murders of the police and cricketers in Lahore was likely to be a CIA-Zionist-UK special-forces operation to destabilize Pakistan to give the west an excuse to invade.
However the final commentator seems to know the definitive source of the problem:
“The almost narcotic obsession that Pakistan has for cricket is symptomatic of the deep corruption there is within the Ummah. Cricket, an imported cultural icon of the British Raj and its racist, colionialist and imperialist policies was introduced into the Indian Subcontinent in much the same way that opium was introduced into China by the Western Powers. This addiction to a foreign cultural icon leads Muslims into deserting the mosque and deen for the base passions. Muslims boys would rather have a cricket bat and ball than a Quran. They understand the arcane rules of cricket better than the Hadith. How these men ape their foreign oppressors and absorb their culture. Look at the whisky sipping Pakistani elites who have forsaken Islam in all but name. Cricket is the symbol of Pakistan’s slavish attachment to un-Islamic concepts and way of life, only when it is driven from its shores can true Islam assert itself.”
It seems that satire that caused Al Guardian so much offence is not that far from reality as seen through the eyes of MPAC. I suppose the moral of the story is that it is a waste of time being satirical with Islamists; nothing we could make up could ever compete with their reality.