Media

“The Girls of Hedsor Hall”

From the website of a new faux-reality TV series:

What will it take to turn a rowdy, mischievous girl into a true lady? MTV aims to find out with The Girls of Hedsor Hall.

One dozen misbehaving American girls will be shipped off to England, where the breeding of proper young ladies is considered something of a science. Once there, these girls will be given a rare opportunity to completely change their lives at Hedsor Hall, a proper English finishing school, under the tutelage of headmistress Gill Harbord and disciplinarian Rosemary Schrager.

But there’s even more incentive for absorbing proper grooming techniques and learning which fork to use during the salad course: one of these diamonds in the rough will walk away from this experience with a $100,000 trust to go along with their education in sophistication.

Also on hand to help with the lessons at Hedsor Hall will be visiting American instructor Tara Conner. The former Miss USA knows first hand the consequences of out-of-control behavior. She nearly lost her crown because of her partying ways, but was given a second chance by Donald Trump.

The Girls of Hedsor Hall — self-described “nymphomaniac” Brianna, heavy drinker Samantha, bad-tempered Margie, high school-dropout Jenna, gutter-mouthed Lillian, wild child Amanda, party girl Kim, snobby bitch Jen M, foul-mouthed Maddy, booty-baring punkette Hillary, bar brawling Paola, and Jennifer, the self-proclaimed “Blackout Queen of North Carolina” — will have a chance to smooth their rough edges and reform the behavior that’s made them notorious.

Under the stern teachings of Harbord, Schrager and Conner, these aspiring ladies will be schooled in everything from style to proper etiquette. In their quest, they’ll hopefully discover that with the right tools, they can become ladies.

You can watch the disturbing trailer here. (The second part is even slightly more disturbing than the first.)

I gather “Hedsor Hall” is in reality Hedsor House, although, strangely, the Hedsor House website doesn’t highlight this particular use of it.

And it goes without saying that Hedsor Hall is not a real “finishing school”– it just plays one on TV. Surely sending the “girls” to an actual finishing school would have been far more entertaining. Such institutions seem to be dying out, although here’s one in Switzerland which seems to be devoted largely to teaching upper-class non-European women upper-class European manners (such as they are).

Oh, and unsurprisingly, Donald Trump has something to do with this mess.

The reviewer for Newsday writes:

Most of these women have substance-abuse problems – the substance in question being alcohol – and what do producers do? Serve them alcohol at a party.

Ha ha. I’ll bet that produced some good video.

It’s times like this that I’m pleased to have only basic cable.

Does anyone have any finishing school stories they’d like to share?

Share this article.

shares