According to The Telegraph Snorers cost their partners two years of sleep over their lives together….
Mrs Graham is subject to “Sleep Apnoea” and so I suppose I am what the Telegraph quite hilariously calls “a victim of snoring.” (Snorers being a greater threat to society than islamists and postmodernists put together.) However, she has made the suggestion that I practice kung-fu kicks, giggle and talk about someone called “Jackie” whilst asleep, so I really don’t want to push my victim status too far..
What can you do to stop British values being eroded completely by this evil cult of snorers? Start by taking the snore test here (caution, it involves propping open your nose with matchsticks and making very odd noises.) Alternatively, go and sleep in the spare room, two years of sleep is an awful lot of dreaming about the ones that got away.
Anyway, this being dress-down friday, please talk about annoying habits, racist tories or anything else which is bothering you (and wake me up at 1pm…)