Dress Down Friday

Amazon and Jordan tributaries

“I’ve been studying music full time now for the past seven years of my life. I’ve gone from Btec level right through to the masters degree that I’m currently studying for and I can say in all honesty that I have NEVER heard an album quite like this. As has been said in previous reviews, this is a work of truly earth-shattering importance. Despite the fact that it may seem like a cynical christmas marketing ploy to extract cash from Daily Mail and Hello readers, the sheer stunning brilliance of this record cannot be overstated. It is true to say that many great artists are never appreciated in their own time so I think just to be sure, Jordan and Peter should both be killed.”

“The cherished graveyards of musical history have opened up their graves, tombs and sepulchres and sent forth their most beloved corpses to have new life breathed into them. Nothing is sacred anymore, nothing is respected as Peter coaxes new pearls of fertile seed from his throat. And Jordan is there with a natural beauty that seems almost prosaic as she blows such honest, primal sentiment over the shrivelled members of music’s pantheon.”

Whoever is responsible for these, should be given the job of writing the the BBC’s next sitcom.

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