“I pay for my support to the Iraqi people”

If a evidence comes to light that your campaign against sanctions was funded by money skimmed corruptly from the Oil for Food programme, there are two ways you can combat it:

1. The Galloway Method: I know nothing. I was an opponent of Saddam Hussein. This is all lies and smears etc.

2. The Gilles Munier Method: Yes, I did it. And I’m proud of it. And I did it all for the “revolutionary” “Ba’th regime of Saddam Hussein“, who “symbolises the Iraqi resistance“.

If you use the first technique, you can take your comedy act onto the Frank Skinner show, make jokes about gays, and generally put yourself as a maverick, countercultural figure: a bit like a teetotal Howard Marks. After a while, you’ll fade from the public eye, and enjoy a happy and prosperous retirement.

If you use the second technique, you’ll only take the hardcore supporters of Saddam with you. But you can be certain that they’ll be loyal. To the bitter end.

Here is a Statement by Gilles Munier, the Secretary General of the French-Iraq Friendship Organisation:

“I pay for my support to the Iraqi people”

“I had in fact reached an agreement on principle with Vice Prime Minister, Tarik Aziz so that the French Oil Company Aredio could lift oil within the framework of the United Nations Program “Oil for Food” provided Aredio received prior clearance from the Embargo Cell of the French Ministry of Defence and from the Sanctions Committee of the United Nations where the Americans had the upper hand.

In return, the Oil Company Aredio pledged to financially back some of our militant activities in relation with the lifting of the embargo or to prevent the US aggression against Iraq.

To me, the United Nations resolutions were illegal and tantamount to a genocide. Therefore, any decision taken by the Iraqi government to bypass the embargo and alleviate the sufferings of the people was legitimate. The Iraqi leaders always claimed that they had no arm of massive destruction. As a consequence, I considered it my duty and my right to come to the rescue of the Iraqi people condemned to death as I considered it to be in the interest of France. As I stated to the French police investigators, I do not regret anything and I would do it again…if need be.

Take the Munier option, George. Go out with a bang.

(hat tip: Matewan, Saving the World)