International

You want a boycott?

The AUT has scheduled a vote for Friday on boycotting Israeli academics. But frankly I’ve had enough of these wimpy, symbolic boycott-Israel efforts.

I mean, if you’re going to boycott the Zionist entity, do it right. None of that half-assed stuff.

Firstly, unplug your computers. Good. Now switch off your interactive digital television sets. Well done. And now throw away your mobile phones. Excellent.

You see, Professors, these machines are not only the engine of the globalized, capitalist world but they also depend on technologies that have been produced by Israeli academics in the Zionist entity.

Also, I’m afraid you may not use the British Library because it has been computerized by Ex Libris, a Zionist company that was spawned by the odious Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

And if, God forbid, you develop problems of the small intestine, you may not pop the Zionist-invented “video capsule,” which passes naturally through your body as it monitors this delicate piece of your anatomy.

You will, sadly, have to take it up your respective derrieres, Professors. As a matter of principle, of course.