Current master of simile at the Sunday Times AA Gill visits Bethnal Green to sharpen his tongue.
He gets a close up look at a certain diminutive Dundonian candidate:
Then there’s the question of colour that haunts this election. Where does he get his? Is there a special paint shop that does minority candidates in a warm nicotine? He and Kilroy-Silk are only shades apart
Exposes his hypocrisy about modes of transport:
“We need manufacturing. What car did you drive here?” he barks at me while his minders smirk. “I bet it wasn’t made in Britain.”
Actually, now you ask, it was made in the Midlands by Manganese Bronze. It was a taxi. And what was that huge limo I noticed you parking? “That’s my Mercedes.”
And finally the politics of choosing a name for the lunacy coalition:
Respect is just so slackjawed, so mumbled; it’s the Ali G-joke party. It is also, of course, what middle-aged white folk think black kids say to each other all the time. I understand that it just beat Innit as the name for the party.
Fun for all the family.